memento

M., under alias of Aaron, The Black Knight is the guy that I have met in 2004 for the first time, we remained friends ever since. We don't see or hear from each other very often, but after my breakup with Caesar in January 2007, we started off something a bit more then friendship. I promised our friendship won't suffer from that, tried to keep a promise, but we have lost contact some time ago.

B.H., under alias of BoYan is my ex boyfriend with whom I have had a relationship somewhere in the middle of affair with The Biggest Pretender - only several of works I have dedicated to him, although he deserved a lot more. He gave me the chance for love I wasn't prepared to take, torn between a lot of emotions, our relationship lasted for a month and I turned away from him, chasing some lost dreams of mine... No matter what he thinks of me now, I have always kept a good memory of the time spent with him, and forever I am sorry for things I did then hurting him.

J.L.C., under alias of Caesar - my Centurion and past burning love which has ended in winter 2006/07... He was my first relationship after three years of solitude and grief for The Biggest Pretender. We've met in October 2005 in person after over a year of a screen chat. He once read my works dedicated to my past relationships, claiming he has never inspired me enough to write about him, but I was suffering from a writer's block at that time. As soon as my inspiration recovered after a year of blank papers I have started writing love poems for the first time in my life. He has pulled my presence into some of his own works too, for what I am forever grateful. I simply loved him. I regularly sent him poems I dedicated to him, which I do not do anymore, though I still write about him.

D.S., under alias of D. is the girl that I have met in 2002 and had a short relationship with. I was experimenting with my sexuality back then, in my first year of college, and she was the first to meet me on that way. We have lost contact, but still I remember her kindness, patience and passion that were here ultimate qualities.

I.R., under alias of Eve - she is the girl that I have met when I started college in 2001, we used to be best friends for a year - forever I am ignorant about what happened after that, but she pulled away and she broke every contact with me. Later I have heard we had a fight - I myself was uninformed about that at the time... No, there aren't any of the bad memories regarding our friendship, i actually find the year 2001/2002 to be one of the best in my whole life. Well, she got a part in one of my poems, it's about how I have felt hearing about our friendship after it was over.

Hyatt Regency Belgrade Banquet Squad is my favorite crew I used to work with - first in 2003, then again in 2006 when I got back to work in that hotel. Great fun, never-ending anecdotes and lots of hard work we always manged to accomplish on time and with "A" category style - that is what I remember the most. The best squad in the world, bosses who made me love my profession and taught me to do my job well, colleagues that I will remember for the rest of my life... Their door is always open for me to come back, and the door of my heart is always open for all of them. Always proud to say I once (twice!) was a H.R.B. Banquet Waiter.

J.T., under alias of Jess - the girl I know for quite a while now, we have met when I was still in highschool... Somewhere in between our egos got in the crossfire and the misunderstanding between us led to breaking our friendship for about a year. We have met after that, burying the words said, and we remained friends ever since. As the matter of fact we kind of grew up together, I am always glad hearing from her and seeing her again.

M., or Miss Madlene, Goddess of World within the World - she is a true character, forever I am sorry I didn't have the chance to meet her in person before she has died in 2005... We have had a few phone conversations, I will always remember her as a lady with a very beautiful voice and spirit, as well as the one with the brilliant mind and soul. Last years of her life she has dedicated her time to the salvation of animals she was keeping in the cottage she lived a bit away from civilisation and material things. I believe she died with a beautiful pride upon her heart and the piece in her mind. She was aware of the inspiration she gave me for my writing, also thanked me for my dedications to her, although I am the one who should be more than thankful to her.

M.S., my father (1957-1995) - I have lost my father in 1995, when I was 13 years old. He was the righteous man living in the wrong time, the one I will forever be proud of. I treasure my every memory of his existence as well as my mother and sister do - he thought us life the best way he knew, to me - he gave the best childhood anyone could wish for, as I grow older I am getting aware of that even more... My poems of him are the ones of sadness and grief and what we have lost by loosing him.

M.S., my mother - she raised me and my sister after the loss of her husband the best way she knew. Our tempers often come in the crossfire, but she is very emotional person who has had a rough life... Although our relationship is rough from time to time, I am aware of her unending love as well she is aware of mine. Also I believe our relationship has made me stronger and more independent which has proved to be a good thing.

Z.S., my sister - well, we use to fight a lot even now when we are very much two grown young women, but still we are family. She has gotten in bad condition with her health in autumn 2006 which made me aware of all the things I would loose if I lost her. The silent love and understanding is what bounds us, our similarities in our characters (and both characters very similar to our parents) probably make us behaving the wrong way towards each other...

N.S., under alias of N. - he is my ex boyfriend, more of the transitional relationship back in 2002/2003 which lasted about 3-4 months, but never was too deep in feelings and understanding. I have no feelings about him whatsoever after all, although I have dedicated some works to him back then.

M., under alias of Oloriel, also Selena or Elf - she is the kid I have met over the Internet in 2005, we have even met in person in spring 2006, i actually believed in her talent and words until she plagiarised my works, using parts of my poems in her own. She got warned by my lawyer for the violations of the copyright law and I have broken every further contact with her due to those events. She has hurt my feelings very deeply with her deeds, more that I have believed her to be my friend and talented young poet. She once gave me a pen as a present to help me write, so the poem Oloriel's Pen has some truth in the story.

B., under alias of Riddler - well, we have never met in person, but we used to chat in 2005 when I was experiencing some very bad things at home. He gave me much needed support back then, leaving me forever grateful for what he has done and said - he became a very dear friend of mine and I remember him that way and probably forever will, although we lost contact after it all.

S.S., under alias of S.S. Of The Banquet - S.S. is kind of a fling I had back in 2001/2002, he has put on fire some very good feelings inside of me, and he is the one to be held responsible for my first quality poems in English. After it all we have met again working together as banquet waiters in a H.R.B. hotel, and it was an amusing experience. Well, he is really something special, I give him that.

P.B., under alias of The Biggest Pretender, also The Greatest Pretender - reading my numerous works about him you could guess he was a person who has left the strong impression on me. He was my great love, somewhat a revelation of feelings I never thought I could live to have - we have had "after midnight" relationship for a while back in 2003/2004 that has left me heartbroken and half insane to enjoy my upcoming solitude that lasted for three years. For long I thought I wouldn't ever recover from it, well, until I met Caesar who has showed me the real love and affection. Interesting thing between those two is that they are very different in character and appearance, but both turned to be my loves. I could just say it used to hurt a lot and probably still does when I recall it all - in those moments still some poems come up even today... Well, he has conquered me, but I have gained to conquer him too when my moments came to its own. He isn't aware of the inspiration he gave me - I remember we have met in some very strange situation in 2005 and he asked about my work - when I said it is poetry, he gave up and wasn't interested in reading it. Also he didn't know it was mostly about him at the time. Well, I could thank him now I guess, but I don't wish to do so.

The Poet Sanctuary is the website, free community and online forum where I am the member (and at the moment the Administrator) ever since October 2006. They are my virtual family that was there to hold my hand when I was going through some bad times and some better times - they have never let me down. They have given me much needed support for my writings, helped me to improve it, and most of all proved there is still human kindness in this world.